In Chapter 1 of Made for Friendship, Hunter contends that friendship is “our highest source of happiness.” I initially wrestled with this idea as it felt a bit extreme, idolatrous even or simply hyperbolized. I thought, “We don’t rely on people or external factors for happiness. Rather, we depend on God for our fulfillment and joy,” which is true.
However, I think, our current self-centered society and the asceticism theology found in church culture, dismisses the possibility of genuine happiness that doesn’t undermine the joy of the Lord. Hunter describes this happiness as the pleasure, enjoyment, delight, and satisfaction that friendship brings. That is, “friendship” in juxtaposition to anything else to be attained — financial wealth, cultural experiences, awards and recognition — is incomparable. So yes, friendship is our highest source of happiness.
Thankfully, Hunter provides anecdotal, empirical and biblical evidence to support why and how friendship is the ultimate source of happiness. Above all the reasons given, here are two that have resonated with me the most.
1. “The cross was history’s most heroic act of friendship.”
It’s easy to forget and sometimes unthinkable to believe that Jesus desires friendship with us. How incredibly happy the follower of Christ must be to know that Jesus is not just Lord and Savior, but friend. So much so, he gave his life for our transgressions, and for us to be restored and reconciled to God. In John 15, Christ could’ve used any term or relational dynamic to describe those who choose to obey and follow him; and he decided on the term “Friend.” It says:
12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. 17 This is my command: Love each other.
This scripture extends to our relationship with each other as well. The parallel found in this command actually instructs us to treat each other with the sacrificial love of Christ that He gives to His friends. There is no greater love. It is our ultimate source of happiness. Hunter shares that Pastor Charles Spurgeon captures the essence of this command in a sermon where he stated “He who would be happy here must have friends; and he who would be happy hereafter, must, above all things, find a friend in the world to come, in the person of God.”
2. Friendship is a “great mercy.” ~ Esther Edwards Burr
Friendship, with Christ and others, is the greatest source of happiness because of the mercy that it is. It is God’s compassion, forgiveness, grace, and undeserved kindness that we get to experience Him and one another in the way that we do. Just like His very nature, God has created us to be communal. We share in our life’s joys, pains, suffering, milestones, and overall journey, together.
For the believer, this mercy is the privilege of having someone to grieve with us when we grieve, to rejoice when we rejoice, to bear each other’s burden, to have support in our time of need, an intercessor on our behalf, and accountability in our walk with Christ. These things we can delight in. We can find happiness in it.
With the newly acquired principle that friendship is our highest source of happiness, I anticipate exploring Hunter’s practical, day to day examples of how such friendship unfolds. If the finished work on the cross is the ultimate reflection of friendship, and a means of God’s mercy, perhaps our current friendships (or lack thereof) is also a mirror of our relationship with Christ. What do you think?
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