As I wrap up this (very short😅) series on friendship, I want to share my favorite section from Made For Friendship.This part translates the theories of friendship into practical approaches for developing relationships that are not only sustainable but also rich in depth, fostering both individual and collective growth.
Here are 20 effective and feasible ways that Hunter provides for cultivating deeper friendships. I’ve highlighted my favorite in each category with a heart.
“…friendships flourish when we talk together, especially face to face.”
Think about what to ask people when you’re on your way to meet with them. What do you want to find out about? How can you encourage them?
♥️Grab a meal or coffee with someone. Schedule this time together monthly or every other week. Consider discussing the Bible or a book together when you meet.
Talk about spiritually significant topics. Ask what your friend is reading in the Bible or in a good book recently. Ask how they are encouraged or discouraged in their life of faith right now. (If you aren’t in the habit of having these types of conversations, it might feel awkward at first. Do it anyway, perhaps acknowledging to your friend that it may feel awkward.)
Let a couple of close friends know they can correct you when they think it best, and then you promise to receive it well.
Use your drive home from school or work or the store to catch up with a distant friend. Even if you only have three minutes. And if you don’t reach them, leave an encouraging voicemail.
Add four or five friends to your phone’s speed dial list so that you can call them more easily more often.
Think about someone to whom you often write messages, emails, or letters. Instead of writing, ask them to get together or, if they’re far away, call them.
“…friendships feed on shared experience—life on life and side by side.”
♥️If you plan to watch a movie or sports, invite a friend over to join you. Save a certain show for watching with a friend or in a group.
With the next book you plan to read, invite one or more people to read it and to meet a few times along the way for discussion.
If you’re a parent with young children at home, invite someone to join you on a walk or a visit to a park.
Ask a friend to help you with a home-improvement project, or offer to help your friends with theirs.
Regularly exercise, workout, or play a sport with someone.
Ask a friend to go on a walk together. Make it a weekly or every-other-week rhythm.
Develop your own annual traditions of camping, heading to a city with friends, or enjoying a concert.
If you’re married, make a plan with your spouse for how to help each other cultivate friendships. Create space for one another to do this. Encourage one
another in it.
“Friendships thrive when we eat together.”
Pick one breakfast slot each week and invite a different friend to join you each time.
♥️As you leave your church’s Sunday service, invite someone out or over to your home for lunch. Talk about what convicted or encouraged you from the sermon.
Keep one evening open each week to invite someone over for dinner.
If you have younger children, invite someone over for dessert after your children go to bed. Or invite a friend to join the dinnertime fun and to stick around for family Bible reading and prayer.
If you’re part of a small group or study group, add a pitch-in dinner to your meetings.
“…the best advice for cultivating friendship is not to find a better friend but to become one.”
*See chapter 5 of Made For Friendship for the full context to this list.